Monday, June 27, 2005

The Boss

What's Hot

A very funny journalist that has a blog called Breaksat At Tiffany's, wrote the other day in her famous blog that she was a starving artist living in a closet. Starving I suppose because her very small apartment doesn't even have a stove. But yet her rent is very high. Yet she's happy. Happy, because she's living close to the Stars that she writes about.

I could relate to her plight. I to once lived in a very high rent neighborhood. After a hitch in the Navy, I just couldn't imagine myself living in Brooklyn anymore. It was where I grew up and there will always be a place in my heart for Brooklyn, but I just can't deal with living there any longer.

After spending so many years out on the West Coast and learning to speak proper English, it scared the hell out of me to think that I might settle back down in Brooklyn and revert to speaking a Brooklyn dilect again. I had no idea that I was speaking a very foreign language until I left Brooklyn. All I had to say were either the words coffee or water and everyone realized I was from Brooklyn.

When I first left the Navy I had a golden tan from all those years in the Pacific and when I talked to someone that didn't know me, they always asked me where I was from. At first I just thought they wondered why I had such a deep tan in the middle of the winter. But, they all said you don't sound Brooklyn. And they were right. I was speaking a foreign language in my native Brooklyn.

So, there was only one thing to do. It was time to move to Manhattan. I found an apartment that I could afford in one of the plushest places in Manhattan. But I had to sacrifice. I could only swing the rent for a studio apartment. But my new neighbors weren't like the ones I were acustomed to in Brooklyn.

Walter Cronkite lived across the street from me. Gloria Vanderbilt was around the corner and Maureen Ohara was down the street. Everywhere I went people smiled and called me The Boss. I just thought it was some kind of Manhattan thing or something. But one day when I took a date to a very exclusive place and asked if I could get a table without a reservation, I was told, Yes, we always have a table for The Boss.

I asked my date. "Who the hell is this Boss guy."

She said. "You're not serious."

I said. "Just tell me what this Boss thing is."

She laughed and asked. "How may years have you been a cloistered Monk?"

I asked. "Have things changed that much? I've been overseas for a long time. But have I gotten that so far out of touch?"


She said. "Okay, I'll tell you. Bruce Springsteen is The Boss and you look just like him. That's who they think you are."

I said. "Oh, Bruce Sprigsten,

I've heard of him. I just didn't make The Boss connection. Does that mean I don't look like Elvis anymore?"

She laughed and said. "Elvis. Who told you that you looked like Elvis?"

I lauged and said. "I dated a girl in high school that was a big Elvis fan. She always told me I looked like him."

She lauged and said. "Well right now you look like Bruce Springsteen. At least that's why I'm dating you. Here, just look at this picture of Bruce Springsteen at his Barcelona concert. He looks like your twin here."

I laughed and said. "Oh, I thought you were going out with me because I had such a spacious studio apartment."

She said. By the way, how did you find that apartment?"

I said. "It helps when you're Uncle is President of the Real Estate Board."

She laughed and said. "I had to read the obituaries for months before the right person passed away in the apartment I was looking for."

I laughed and said. You're not having a fantasy that I'm Bruce Sprinsteen when were making it. Are You?"

She hesitated and said. "No. He doesn't sing deep meaning songs like your favorite http://coachb.net/why.htm song Why. Tell me, are you having a fantasy that I'm someone else when were making love?"

I said. "No, of course not. But did I ever tell you how much you looked like Cindy Crawford?"

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Jacques(Episode One)

"Thats too bad your land lady evicted you Jacques," Jacques neighbor said as he helped Jacques load his belongings into Jacques cab.

"Can't blame her Mike. She knew I was living way over my head. Even if she had given me a few more weeks to come up with the rent sooner or later I would have ended up behind on the rent again. Twelve hundred a month is just too much for me."

"Yeah Jacques. Maybe its for the best. Now all the woman in Hanover will have a shot at sharing their bed with you eh Jacques."

"Yeah, sure Mike. I'll bet you a pint that I'll end up sleeping in this cab tonight."

"I'll take that bet Jacques.

"Thanks for the help Mike. Got to go now. Just got a call to take someone over to Bess Johnson's place.

After Jacques droped his fare off at Bess Johnson's he said, "I'll be around for a while if you need a ride back later. Just tap on the window when you're ready."

"Great, figure on about two hours or so."

Two hours later Jacques fare knocked on the window while Bess Johnson gave him a good night kiss. "Hey Jacques don't you ever go home anymore,?" Bess Johnson asked.

"My cab is my home now. I got evicted today."

"Oh sorry to hear that Jacques. I'll tell you what though. After you drop my friend off come back. I think I know of where you can find an apartment at a reasonable rent."

"Great Bess. Thanks, I'll catch you later."

Jacques took his fare back into town and then headed back to Bess Johnson's place. He figured someone like her would not say she knew of an apartment unless she was sure. He figured her for a very high class hooker based on her teriffic looking body and the twice a week or so visit to her place on average by very well to do men. Whenever a fare was going to Bess Johson's place Jacques always knew he would get a very generous tip.

Arriving at Bess Johnson's place Jacques was relieved to see that her lights were still on. As he pulled into her driveway Bess opened her front door and waved for him to come in. As he got closer to the door he could see that Bess was wearing a very sexy baby doll nighty. As Bess bent down to pick up the TV remote control that fell out of her hand Jacques eyes feasted on the sight of Bess's breast's just about bursting out of the top of her pink colored top. Now all the way bent down the bottom of her nighty rode up her very shapely thighs revealing a very small heart shaped thong that covered her pussy.

"Sorry Bess, I see you're ready for bed. I'll come back another time."

"No problem Jacques, I'm was just watching TV. Nothing on thats very entertaining. Tell you what. I'll make you a nice roast beef sandwhich if you do your Club Wild strip act routine for me."

"If you got a beer to go with that you got a deal Bess."

"Sure thing Jacques, I stocked up on Molson today. I'll join you with a Molson if you don't mind."

"Great Bess. I just hope I'm not keeping you up."

"No Jacques, you're not keeping me up. But lets see that srtip act now.

As Bess prepared the sandwhich Jacques danced around. As he unbuttoned his shirt Bess was surpised to see his rippling muscles and very firm abs. As he playfuly slid his pants off Bess looked on lustfuly at his muscular thighs. As he turned around he exposed his butt my letting his jock strap slide beneath his butt. He then pulled his jock strap back up and turned around and faced Bess again.

"Nice butt Jacques. But why did you pull your jock strap back up? I was looking forward to seeing everything."

"Thanks Bess, but I don't show it all till the final part of the act. At the Club Wild I lay down on the floor and while I do a sexy wiggle the bacherolette pulls my jock strap all the way off."

"Well what are you waiting for Jacques? Get down on the floor and do that wiggle."

Jacques did his wiggle on the floor and then said "At this point I let the bachelorette pull my jock strap off and ask her to take advantage of me and have her way with me."

To Jacques surpise Bess bent down and slid off his jock strap. He watched as Bess threw the jock strap to the corner of the kitchen and removed her nighty. As her naked body stood over his Jacques through his arms back over his head and said, "take advantage of me, I'm all yours."

Gently stroking his cock, she said, "its beautiful" as it throbbed from her strokes.

"Thank you Bess. Your body is even more fantastic than I imagined."

"Lets have those sandwhiches now before I take you upstairs. I have something that I want to tell you Jacques when we go upstairs."

"Sure Bess. Cheers"

"Cheers Jacques. Oh I forget the napkins. But since were both sitting at the table stark naked I guess it doesn't really matter."

"Right you are Bess. My bod is wash and wear. Anyway its a lot more comfortable looking at you without any clothes on."

Looking down at Jacques lap, Bess remarked, "Yes you're happy to see allright."

"Thanks for the sandwhich and beer Bess, but I should really go and let you get some sleep."

"Sleep! You think I can sleep now after seeing your sexy body Jacques? I'm tired of being with girly men. I need a tumble with a real red blooded man. Just come up stairs with me. I have something up there I want to show you"

"Okay Bess, lead the way. You have me curious now."

"Take a good look now and tell me what you think of it up here Jacques."

"Its very nice up here Bess. But what did you want to tell me?"

"Lay down on this bed and tell me what you think Jacques."

"Oh, a water bed. I love it Bess. This is super comfortable."

"Five hundred a month Jacques and its yours."

"Great Bess, I'll take it."

"Wait, not so fast Jacques. I require a three month security deposit thats due today for the apartment."

"That would be fiveteen hundred due right now. Sorry Beth I just don't have it."

"I think we can work something out Jacques. I just need you to put up a little colateral."

"My Timex watch has a market value of about twenty bucks and thats all the colateral I have."

"I'm willing to waive the rent for any month you can't come up with the five hundred if you do me on the rent date. I'm a business woman Jacques but I have needs."

"Do you on the rent date Bess! What are you trying to do, make paying rent fun again? Of course I'm quite thrilled that you think a tumble with me is worth five hundred dollars."

"Oh, you're really worth quite a lot more Jacques but I'm a bit of a spend thrift."

"But I thought people paid you for their needs Bess."

"Yes they do Jacques. But thats for them. Thats for their needs. It does nothing for me outside of making my bank account a little richer."

"Okay Bess, you're on. Do you want the three months security deposit right now?"

"Yes Jacques I'd like it now, all of it now if you can. But remember, this is for me, not for you. So I'm in total control. Just lay back on the bed and leave everything to me. I'm going to handcuff your hands and feet to the bed posts now so let me know if you want to change your mind before the cuffs go on."

"Bring on the handcuffs Bess. Your offer is just too good to turn down."

Now with the handcuffs firmly secure Bess stood over Jacques as her very full and firm beautiful breasts bounced over his chest as she came closer to him. He would have liked to touch her breasts along with her shapely thighs, but the handcuffs prevented him from doing so. Beth now climbed on the bed and sank her teeth sharply into Jacques neck. Jacques new that deep bite would turn into one giant sized hicky and he'd owe his friend Mike a pint just as soon as Mike seen it.

"The handcuffs are starting to hurt me Bess. I keep forgetting that they're on whenever I feel an urge to touch you."

"Stop fighting the cuffs Jacques. Just relax your body and tell me a story. Tell me how and when you lost your virginity."

"Its such a silly story I don't know if I should really tell you about it. I was sixteen when it happened. I lost it in my living room unexpectedly back in my home town of Joigny, France while I was watching television."

"Oh, you were watching one of those real hot french movies Jacques and you let passions flames run wild."

"No Bess. I was watching a soccer game on television. With my eyes glued to the action of the screen I kept sticking my hand in the popcorn bowl without looking. My sweet heart of the time was watching the game with me, but I was ignoring her as usual when the game was on."

"So how did you lose your virginity then Jacques?"

" This is exactly how it happened Bess. I reached over to take a handful of popcorn from the bowl, but instead of feeling the texture of the popcorn I felt the pussy of my sweet heart for the first time. Somehow she had maneuvered her pussy into the exact spot where the popcorn bowl was and with her panties removed I reached into her exposed pussy for the popcorn. I love sports of course, but being French she was hard to ignore. As I stared at her pussy in surprise she removed the rest of her clothing and walked into my bedroom. I followed of course and never did see anymore of the game.

"Bet that was more exciting than the game Jacques."

"Oh yeah it was Bess. Damn, your not a vampire are you. You've got some sharp teeth. If I wasn't cuffed, I'd be checking for fangs now."

"They were just love taps Jacques. Brace yourself for the big bites coming.

Bess planted bites and kisses as her mouth slowly moved down his chest. As she started to twirl her tongue around his nipples he started to get a tremendous erection. He quickly realized just how skilled her tongue was as it twirled from the shaft of his cock to at last reach around his helmet. Then she thrusted him slowly into her savouring every moment.

Her thighs were tremendous and powerful and Jacques knew that she could make him explode inside her ay any time she wanted, but she was careful not to over excite him. After about an hour had gone by and Jacques body was in a profuse state of sweat she turned up the tempo as her powerful thighs thrashed ever so harder as Jacques exploded inside her at last.

Smiling now as she uncuffed Jacques, Bess said "That was the best I ever had. Now lets shower together."

As Jacques soaped up Bess he became fully erect again. Leaning her body against the shower wall he thrusted quickly and deeply inside her. Beth moaned with delight as she experienced multiple orgasms. As Jacques climaxed he said, "Thats two months security now."

Now Jacques had Bess completly toweled dry when she asked, "Could you give me that third months secuity deposit now."

"Yes I can," Jacques answered as he stretched her out on the bathroom floor and thrusted deep inside her as she moaned wildly.

"Thank you for the three month security deposit Jacques. And I'll be looking forward to seeing you again on the first of the month."

"Sure thing Bess. You know where I'll be."

Jacques(Episode Two)

"Get that shirt on Jacques, you've got a lady to pick up at the Air Port."

"Gonna be in the buff by this afternoon driving this broken down cab with a heater I can't turn off. Whats her name Fred?

"You're breaking my heart Jacques. Did you ever think of opening the window? Her name is Ellen Simonetti."

"Is she a tall blonde with a great pair of legs."

"Yeah she is Jacques. How did you know."

"Saw her on TV the other day Fred. She's the first Flight Attendant to ever be fired for blogging."

"Whats blogging Jacques?"

"The word blog is derived from the word web log. They took the b from the end of the word web and then combined that letter b with the word log. So blog is kind of a hip way to say web log."

"Whats a weblog?"

"Never mind Fred. Don't think you'll understand. Lets just say its a little something they invented a little bit past your Pony Express days."


"I'll tell her you've got great abs so you don't have to keep your shirt off."

"Okay, okay, I'm putting the shirt on now Fred. Tell her I'll be there in about five minutes."

Arriving at the Airport his waiting passenger asked,"are you the cab driver with the great abs?"

"What else did my dispatcher tell you about me,?" Jacques asked.

"Oh nothing much. He just mentioned that you slept with the librarian and your school teacher just to get an A."

"Gee, I mentioned that in confidence to one person, now I suppose its all over town. Anyway how have you been Ellen Simonetti? I've seen you on the Today Show and on CNBC. I'm sorry that you were fired from your job as a Flight Attendant because of your blogging.

"Thank you Jacques. Its kind of you to say that. But I came here to forget about my troubles. My very good friend is getting married and I'm gonna be her Brides Maid. So I'm gonna just forget about Delta and TV and newspaper interviews for a few days and just be plain old Ellen Simonetti again.

"I understand Ellen. I think taking a break from it all is the best thing to do. Besides New England is beautiful this time of year. How are you fixed for cash?"

"I'm okay Jacques. I'm getting unemployment benefits at last. I just hope I can finish my book before the checks run out. I'm not happy about being on such a tight budget but I have no choice unless I take the offer to be a centerfold."

"Oh, so they did want you do a centerfold. Figured they would. It would of sold magazines but I'm sure you made the right decision."

"Just couldn't do it Jacques. Any way I wear white socks."

"White socks! I don't get it."

"Its kind of a Texas saying Jacques. Good girls wear white socks."

"Oh now I get it. Oh by the way Ellen would you like to make some quick easy money?"

"Sure I would Jacques, but just keep in mind that I wear white socks."

"Sure Ellen, it just so happens that I wear white socks too."

"Yeah, great Jacques, that gives me a lot of faith in you. You just slept with the librarian and your school teacher but you wear white socks. What are we talking about here? I don't deal drugs or rob banks either."

"No, no Ellen, nothing illegal. All you have to do is place a bet on a horse race. And its not on a ringer or anything like that."

"Whats a ringer Jacques?"

"A ringer is a horse disquised as another horse. Lets say you own a grey horse thats a top allowance grade horse and I own a cheap horse that runs for a low claiming tag. What we do is switch horses. The bettors think they're betting on my cheap claiming tag horse but he's really your allowance horse. Its getting harder to get away with this today because now they have more ways to identify horses but people still try it from time to time."

"So whats so special about this one horse race and why do you need me to place the bet?"

"My friend is a horse trainer Ellen. He's been secretly clocking Joisey Girl in the early morning before the clockers show up at the track. He figures that Joisey Girl is at least ten lengths better than the top contenders in the race. But if either one of us is spotted making a big bet on the horse the price will go down. Joisey Girl hasn't run in two years. She was hurt but she had surgery and my friend nursed her back to health. She figures to go off about seventy to one if no one gets wise."

"How much do you want me to bet on it Jacques?"

"I only have five hundred dollars that I saved for my rent to bet. I'll give you one hundred dollars worth of the bet just for putting it in. Just walk up to the five hundred dollar win window two minutes before the race goes off and say one ticket on number seven."

"But what if it loses Jacques? Then how will you pay your rent?"

"Its no big deal Ellen. If Joisey Girl loses I'll just have to sleep with my land lady again. She'd much rather have me sleep with her than give her the rent money any way."

"Sleep with you're land lady again! You're putting me on about your land lady. Right?"

"No, thats the deal we made. She said five hundred a month or I sleep with her on rent day. But she wanted a three month security deposit, so I had to sleep with her three times because I didn't have the fiveteen hundred for the security deposit."

"Take off that shirt Jacques. I want to see if your abs are worth five hundred dollars a month free rent. And I'm gonna take pictures to show my friends in Texas if they are."

"Okay Ellen, I'm taking off my shirt but I don't want to see those pictures ending up in Play Girl or something. Remember, I wear white socks."

"Damn, I'm snapping. Those abs are worth a thousand a month rent. Hey take of some more Jacques. Maybe I could sell the pictures to Play Girl."

"Okay Ellen stop snapping where here. Got to put my shirt back on now. Just remember to play it cool. If anyone asks you why you're betting number seven just say its your lucky number and act like you really don't care if it loses."

"Okay I'll do it Jacques. Any way seven is my lucky number. I've got ten dollars of wild money. So I'm gonna play a seven and seven daily double for my self."

"I was going to leave right after the first race Ellen. After all, I am supposed to be providing a cab service. But okay, put your double in. Maybe its a winner."

"Thanks Jacques, I feel lucky today. And you're right. It is a picture perfect day today. New England is really a beautiful place."

"There she is Ellen. Joisey Girl is walking out on the track now."

"She's a beauty Jacques. Hope she runs as good as she looks."

"I'm gonna head down to the finish line. See ya there after you get the bet in Ellen."

"You've got it Jacques, the finish line is my favorite place at the track also."

Ellen returned with the five hundred dollar win ticket on Joisey Girl and then the track announcer announced "their in the gate."

"Are you nervous Jacques? You've got a lot riding on this race."

"A little nervous Ellen. I found the most beautiful property in the world that I want to buy, but I can only buy it if Joisey Girl comes through for me."

"Will you show me the property if she wins?"

"Sure Ellen. I'd be glad to. They're off. Oh, Joisey Girl got bumbed by two horses leaving the gate. She's back on track now but she lost a lot of ground."

"How much ground did she lose about Jacques?"

"I'd say she lost about ten lengths of ground being bumbed like that."

"Then she could still win Jacques. You're friend said she's at least ten lenghts better than the top contenders."

"Yeah, she could still win Ellen, but she can't make any mistakes. Wow, she just made a bold move in the center of the track. She's only four lenghts away from the leader. Now dead even. Oh damn, the jockey lost the whip. Their nose and nose. Neither one yielding. Here's the wire. Too close to call."

"Do you think she made it Jacques?"

"I really can't say for sure Ellen. I know its a nose job. But I can't tell whose nose got there first. The judges are calling for a print."

"Whats a print Jacques?"

"When the judges aren't sure what horse won they ask for a blow up picture of them crossing the finish line. Seven, they just put seven up Ellen, we won."

"How much did we win Jacques?

"They just made it offical now and put the price up Ellen. Joisey Girl paid one hundred and forty two dollars for every two dollar ticket. So you had a hundred dollars on her, so thats one hundred and forty two dollars times fivety and I get one hundred and forty two dollars times two hundred. Thats enough and more to buy the property I want. Lets cash the tickets in and have a drink."

"Okay Jacques, but just make my drink a coke, a coke with a double shot of bourbon that is."

"Here's your money Ellen and thanks for putting the bet in. And hey you still have a ten dollar double going. The seven and seven double is paying fourteen hundred dollars for every two dollar ticket."

"Thanks Jacques and cheers."

"Cheers Ellen."

"They're going in the gate for the second race Jacques. There they go. My number seven Texas Sweetie went right to the front. Go Texas Sweetie, go, go, go. Texas Swettie has opened a five length lead, now seven. Keep opening Texas Swettie, take some more real estate honey."

"She's got a good lead Ellen but the closers are starting to make their moves now. She's down to four lengths now but they're at the eigth pole. I say she hangs on. A sixteenth of a mile to go and she's still in front by three. The five horse is charging hard late, but here comes the wire. Texas Swettie hangs on to win by a half a length. Cash your tickets and lets walk out of here as big winners. Doesn't get any better than this."

"Okay, cashed the tickets Jacques. Where to now?"

"How bout a few songs at the Piano Bar to celebrate, then I'll show you that property. Do you still sing?"

"Just once in a while. I haven't felt much like singing since Delta fired me for blogging. Why do you ask?

"I wrote a little song I thought you might want to sing at the Piano Bar. Its a sort of political song. I thought you might get a kick out of it. I just jotted it down for you while you were cashing your tickets."

"The song looks interesting Jacques. I sing and play piano. I think I have the perfect piano tune for this."

"Realy."

"Realy Jacques. Think you have something hear. Order me a steak and I'll try this out on the piano while were waiting for our order."

"Okay, let me introduce you. Hi everyone, we have a special treat this afternoon from Austin Texas. Ellen Simonetti is going to sing "Got The Red State Blues."

I'm living in a red state

But I'm feeling blue

Don't know how it happened

But I woke up blue

My Daddy was in a union when Texas was blue

But ever since Texas turned red on me

There was no union job for me

I'm living in a red state

Yeah I'm feeling blue

Got fired for blogging

Now I'm seeing red

With no union job I wasn't making much

But I was still the best that I could be

I did my job and never complained

Then my Mom passed

I tried to kill the pain

I took up blogging

Just to ease my pain

But didn't mention any names

I blogged out of Quirksville

Called it Annomymous Airlines

Just talked bout my travels

Till one day the phone rang

They said I was suspended

Something about blogging in uniform

Just didn't make any sense to me

But when you're living in a red state

Oh its just so blue

No union to represent you

Oh that door can slam hard

But what did I do wrong

I really don't know

But I'm living in a red state

Oh yeah, I've got the blues

Ellen finished her song to thunderous claps.

"You did great Ellen, but why are you crying?"

"I'm crying Jacques over the fact that you could write a song like this in five minutes and still be such a slut. Give up women Jacques and just write."

"But Ellen, what would I have to write about if I gave up women?"

"You don't have to give them all up Jacques. Just cut it down to a parade of one. In fact I'm going to introduce you to someone today that would be perfect for you. She really is a good girl. And she'll be worth you're waiting."

"Maybe you're right Ellen. I guess I have been a bit of a slut lately. I've been with three different women in three days now. Its getting harder to seem sincere. Introduce me to your friend. I need someone that may see me as more than just a good time roll in the hay. But first I want to show you that property I'm going to buy."

"Oh yeah, the property, I do want to see it."

"Okay, lets go then if you're ready Ellen."

They drove through the valley passing by several lakes and then heard the sound of thundering water falls.

"This is it Ellen. I'm buying this property and soon after I get my Medical Degree I'm going to build a house right near this waterfall."

"Its breathtaking Jacques. Could I write my book here?"

"Sure Ellen, you can come here any time you want. And you're right about the writing. I do all my writing here right by the waterfall. And perhaps some day I may paint a few landscapes here as well. See that tree up there. I have a tree house build in it with a water bed and everything. Had to do it because sometimes I felt so peaceful here I would close my eyes and fall asleep. But its not a lot of fun waking up in the dark here. But I have lights in the tree house and plenty of warm blankets."

"So there is another side to you Jacques. You do have feelings and warmth. I think you very well may just write a great novel here some day. But behind every great man Jacques is a woman hen pecking him to fame and fortune. Always remember that."

"You're friend. Will she hen peck me gently Ellen?"

"Yeah, she'll be gentle Jacques unless you totaly revert to being a bad boy again. I'll be back next summer to write my book and check up on you. Its been a fun day Jacques but you better get me to my friends house before she wonders where her Brides Maid went to. Oh and her sister Maureen is the one I want to introduce you to. When you see the most beautiful looking woman in all of New England you'll know that you're looking at Maureen."

"Okay on to Hanover. I don't really know what to say Ellen. You're just full of surprises."

"Sometimes Jacques its better to say nothing. Lets just watch this beautiful New England sunset in quiet as we drive down these beautiful quaint country roads.

"My lips are sealed Ellen."

Special thanks to Ellen Simonetti for allowing me to write her into my episode two of Jacques. Ellen Simonetti has a very entertaining blog at Journalspace called Diary Of A Flight Attendant.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Give The Ladies What They Want(Chapter Two)

Give The Woman What They Want Chapter Two By Tim Mack
"I can't understand this. You just did me ten minutes ago and I'm feeling super horny again already," I said.


"I'm feeling super horny two. It must be those pills the girls gave me at the Club Wild, she said.
"What did they call the pills," I asked.


"They called them Ecstasy. They gave me four of them. They said take two and give him two and you'll both be horny beyond your wildest dreams," she said.
"Oh Ecstasy, no wonder I'm so horny. I wish you had told me. One pill can make you feel like fucking all day, but two pills, oh shit, I never even heard of anyone taking two pills at once. I'm ready to pull over now and do you if you're up for it," I said.


"Are you sure. You're really ready to bop me after only taking a ten minute rest." she said.
"Yeah, I'm sure, thats how Ecstasy works. I can bop the heck out of you all day long if you wan't me to," I said.
"All right lets do it then. Pull over now and take my cherry, I'm ready," she said with a lustful smile.


"Okay, its show time. I guess this place is as good as any. I'll be as gentle as I can. We'll take it nice and slow.
"So is that all this is to you? I'm just someone to pop you're cherry. No emotion, no feeling, no passion. I don't if I can do this,"I said.
She unbuttoned my shirt and started to bite my chest, but I didn't respond. Now she had my pants undone and she started to stroke my cock, but I still felt nothing.
"Sorry, I just can't do this," I said.


"You're not even going to undress me to see what you're missing," she said.
"No, I'm not. I just don't know how to have meaningless sex," I answered.
I watched as she removed her blouse and skirt. Her very endowed breasts filled a very fashionable bra that looked like it was a Fredericks Of Hollywood. When I glanced down at her bottons I noticed the heart shape deseign covering her pussy.
"You have good taste in lingere, I can see that thats a Fredericks Of Hollywood,"I said.


"It is. How did you know,?" she asked.


"Oh, I love all their lingere, its very striking,"I said.
"And how many women have you slept with that were wearing my lingere? Now I'm wondering if I should do this," she said.

"Oh, I only slept with a few million women wearing you're underwear. Yeah, we better forget about this, I'm just a super bad boy. You don't want me to take your cherry. I might be in such a hurry to get to screw someone else I may only have time to pop half you're cherry. Then you'll still be a half a virgin. You know, I have a busy schedule,"

As her fingers undid her bra I watched as it slid off her tremendous breasts. With a develish smile she looked at me and said, "now tell me you don't have the time to touch them."

I could no longer resist. I always had a weakness for big beautiful breasts. Not only was I touching them now, but I was also twirling my tongue around her giant sized nipples. As my eyes feasted on the site of her bouncing breasts my hands started to wander up her very firm and sexy thighs. Now with my cock rock hard I knew it was ready, but now I had to get her ready.

I gently slid one hand underneath the heart shaped thong the was covering her pussy and touched it gently and slowly. I could feel that her hymen was solidly firm. As I continued to run my hand under her thong I could feel her thighs start to shake with excitement. I knew she was now ready to be deflowered. I pulled her heart shape thong down her thighs and off.

I spread her legs apart and then gently placed her arms back over her head and grasped them. "I'm going to make you a women now," I said as I mounted her.
I could hardly concentrate as I felt her breasts rock wildly below my chest. I kept slipping out of her little opening. I wanted to go slow and to be gentle but her opening was just too small. At last I told her,"this is going to hurt, but just for a few seconds."

"I know that. Just do it. Do it right now. Please now,? she asked.
I gripped her arms and held her down tightly and stuffed myself hard into her. She screamed as her hymen started to break.

"Is that it now? Is it over,? she asked.
"I'm only about half way through. Two or three more pushes and that should be it," I answered.

"Do it then, just do it," she said.

As I pushed harder her hymen continued to break, but I could see that she was in pain so I gave one last super hard push to completly break through. As I plunged deeply inside of her I could feel her hymen completly break at last. I pulled out of her and said "It will never hurt again."

"Come back inside me then, I want to feel what its like without the hurt," she said.

As I entered deep inside her again she smiled and said, "you're right, no more hurt, now it feels wonderful.

"Is that it now? Should I pull myself back out now,?" I asked.

"Oh no. Please don't? It feels so good." she said.

"But I thought that this was supposed to be meaningless. I thought you just wanted me to deflower you. Just perform my little service and be gone," I said.
"No. Please forget what I said before. Oh, its happening, I'm cuming. Don't stop now. Don't you dare stop," she said.

"Okay then, I'll stick around for a while, but I can't stay for two long you know. I've got all those other millions of women that want to sleep with me," I said.
"Yes, yes, oh yes, I'm cuming again," she screamed."
All of a sudden I could feel her clitoris tighten around me. It had been a while since I was last with a virgin and I had almost forgotten just how tight their clits could get the first time.

"Why did you stop thrusting,?" she asked.

I stopped because I'm not Superman. If I thrust anymore I'm gonna explode inside you," I answered.

"So you're just gonna let it hang inside me doing nothing." she said.
"Yes, thats the plan for right now at least unless you're ready for me to explode inside you," she said.

"I don't care if you explode inside me. Just start thrusting deep inside me again and let whatever happens happen," she said.

"Okay, but you're pretty fussy about how you have meaningless sex. A few more thrusts and I'm afraid you may even show some emotion," I said.
"Oh yeah thats it. You bringing me to orgasm again. Oh it feels so good, don't ever stop," she said.

As I felt her clit grip me ever tighter I knew I couldn't hold on much longer. I knew she didn't ever want it to end, but she'd have to realize that all good things have to come to an end at some point.

"I'm cuming, I'm cuming again," she wailed.
"Im cuming with you," I ansewered.

Both of exhausted now, I held her in my arms with neither one of us talking. We both felt a peaceful loving tranquility and we both fell fast asleep.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Give The Ladies What They Want(Chapter One)

Give The Ladies What They Want Chapter One
By Tim Mack
It was five minutes to nine PM and I thought I might get away without another call before my shift ended in five minutes. But it was not to be. I got a call on my radio to pick up a woman outside the French Cafe at seventh and Concord.
"Could you take me to Sky Castle,?"she asked.
"Sure, but thats about an hours drive and my shift ends in five minutes. I have a half hour gig to do in five minutes at the Club Wild,"I said.
"I've heard about that club. They have male strippers there. What kind of gig are you doing there,? she asked.
"You guessed it, I'm taking it all off for the ladies at a bachelorete party I'm doing there," I said.
"I'd wait a half hour extra to see that," she said.
"Really, you wouldn't mind waiting? All drinks on me if you're game. You'd save me from getting red faced with the cab company. They don't know I'm a sometime male stripper and I'd like to keep it that way,"I said.
"No problem, I don't drink, but you can buy me a coke if you'd like. So how much of you do you show at these things,? she asked.
"At Club Wild it all comes off," I answered.
"You mean everything? Even your jock strap? No, you wouldn't. Would you,?" she asked.
"Yes, even the jock strap come off. Thats what the ladies want and I'm there to give them want they want. But before that jock strap comes off the ladies pad it stuffed with money. That and driving this cab are helping me pay my way through College," I answered.
"Oh, so you're an educated male stripper. Good looks and brains combined. Now I'm getting interested. Will you write you're thesis on male stripping,? she asked with a chuckle.
"Were here, wow quite a few cars parked in the lot. Let me escort you to the bar and buy you a drink. I'll just change into my outfit quick and get this thing going,"I said.
"Why not just strip it all of right now,"
"Not allowed to. I'm told I have to tease them a bit first. Thats what the outfit is all about." I said.
"Okay go change. I'll be fine. I'll be looking forward to seeing you. Seeing all of you," she said with a smile.
"Hope you won't be dissapointed. There have been rumors that I'm not really a Greek God you know," I said laughing.
Now with my stripper outfit on the music that started to play was my cue to go into my act. I danced over and threw my shirt off. Slowly I started to pull up my tank top up my waist letting my abs show. After a little more teasing slowly lifting my tank top above my nipples I pulled it all the way over my head and off. I could hear the ladies screaming wildly as I let my muscles flex.
A few more dance steps and it was time to undo my pants. I undid the pants button and slowly pulled the zipper down. I let my pants slide down past my naval and the just held them there for a few minutes. Then I kicked the pants off and did some a few more dance moves. As the music played louder I began to let my jock strap slide my down my thighs. First I turned my back to the girls and pulled my jock srtap down below my butt giving them an eyeful as I wiggled my butt to the pace of the music.
Now it was tip time. I pulled my jock strap back above my butt and danced over to where the ladies were gathered. Now facing them directly I rocked my thighs back and forth as they reached their hands in and stuffed money down my jock strap as they coped a feel. Now the last song for my act started to play. So now it was time for me to lay myself down in front of the girls and wiggle out of my jock strap for them.
As I wiggled my jock strap down to way below my naval the girls were stuffing me with money as they helped my last bit of modesty slide off my thighs. One girl asked "can I keep the jock strap,?" as she touched me and pulled my jock strap down to my kness.
"Yes, keep them, their yours" I said as I watched her slide them completly off me.
"Okay bacholerate, here's your last chance to take advantage of a totaly naked guy while you're still a single woman. Go ahead, feel me up, take advantage of me, I can't resist. Do with me what you want. I'm all yours," I said as I threw my arms back over my head.
Sliding her hands down my chest she stopped at my waist and said, "I love to your muscles." she said.
"Go ahead and touch it, its your last chance to touch a man there as a single woman," a voice cried out from the crowd.
"Do you mind if I touch it?" she asked pointing at my cock.
"Go ahead touch it, thats what I'm here for. Its your day and I'm here to give you what you want today,"I answered.
The woman cheered as the bachelorete started to stroke my now throbbing cock with her hands. Then the bachelorete gripped her hand around my cock and said, "lets get a picture of me hoding his cock with my tongue hanging over it."
Her hand started to move quickly up and down my throbbing cock as the cameras clicked away.
"Okay, we have enough pictures now, he's all yours girls" the bachelorete said as she let go of my cock.
As I felt several hands now groping my butt and genitals I gracefuly eased away from the girls while I thanked them for their generosity. As I got up I noticed that the girl that came here in my cab had been standing where she must have gotten a close up view of all of me. And noticing the big smile on her face she seemed pleased by what she had seen.
All the loud music had given me a headache. I just wanted to get my fare to her destination now and call it a day. I threw my clothes on and headed out to my fares destination. It felt a little strange driving with no jock srtap on but I was more concerned about my headache.
"You've got a real nice bod." my fare murmured.
"Thank you. Did you think the music was a bit loud,? I asked.
"Yes it was, I've got a headache from it," she replied.
"My heads splitting," I answered.
"No need to suffer, take these two pills, it will help, I'm taking two myself," she said.
"Thanks, you're a life saver," I replied.
"Did you have an extra pair of jock straps,? she asked.
"No I didn't, but I didn't want to say no to the woman that wanted my jock strap as a souviener." I answered.
"You're kidding right. I mean you're not really driving without a jock strap,?" she asked.
"I wish I were kidding, but I'm not and it feels kind of strange," I said.
Suddenly I felt her placing her hand on my zipper. I glanced down to see her hand pulling my zipper down my pants with one hand while her other hand pulled my cock through the zipper opening.
"Oh, you weren't kidding, no jock strap, but maybe you don't need it now. It looks as if youre cock has shrunk back down to size again from what it was at Club Wild. I guess I don't excite you like the woman did back at Club Wild," she said.
"If you're asking me if I think you have a hot bod, the answer is yes, but I try not to have sexual thoughts while I'm driving, so thats why my cock is limp right now," I said.
She reached under her blouse and undid her bra throwing it on the dash board and pulled her blouse up over her breasts and asked "would these give you a sexual thought while driving?"
Her breasts were beautiful. They were a nice size and very firm. Her nipples were very large and very suckable. I couldn't help but to get an instant erection. I watched as she pulled her blouse back down again and then pulled her dress up to her waist and slid off her panties exposing her pussy to me.
"Oh look at that, a throbbing erection and I thought you didn't think about sex when you were driving. We'll have to do something about that throbbing erection before you have an accident or something," she said.
Suddeny I started to feel a sense of euphoria. As I wondered what was happening I could feel her tongue teasing the shaft of my cock.
"What are you doing,?" I asked.
"I'm running my tongue up and down the shaft of your cock and you're asking me what I'm doing. What kind of a male stripper are you. If you must know I'm about to give your cock a good sucking." she answered.
"But why? Whats going on? And what kind of headache pills did you give me? I'm starting to feel very weird." I said.
"I want to blow your wad so you can bop me. I decided to lose it to you and your way to hard so I got to soften you up a bit," she said.
"Why me,?" I asked.
I picked you because I want to have meaningless sex with someone that means nothing to me but is very good looking. You're perfect for the job. You can give me the bop I need and no strings, no commitment, then we can both go on our merry way," she said.
"What makes you so sure that I would even want to bop you anyway,?" I asked.
"Do you know of one single male any where that would turn down a chance to break the cherry of a good looking virgin," she answered.
"No to be honest I don't, myself included," I said.
"You just answered your own question as I'm a virgin that needs her cherry boped. And I need your cherry boping services, thats all. Now shut up and drive while I give you a blow job that won't soon forget," she said.
She was right. I had answered her question for her. No red bloded male would turn down a chance to break the cherry of a good looking woman. As I tried to grasp what was going on I could now feel her tongue moving up from the shaft of my cock to the head of my cock. After several tongue swirls around the head of my cock her lips went to work on me. As she sucked the head of my cock up and down I got more and more excited. I was afraid that I would soon shot my wad and that it might be a bit mezzy so I figured I'd better talk to her.
"If feels real great but I'm gonna blow my wad soon and make a mess all over if you keep sucking me," I said.
"Don't worry, I'm gonna swallow it down when you come. I read a magazine article that said swallowing that stuff helps make my breasts grow bigger," she answered.
"Okay, if its gonna make your breasts bigger suck away," I said.
As she sucked ever harder my cock was getting rock hard. It was getting harder and harder to pay attention to my driving. I deicided I better let it go pop before I have an accident.
"Get ready I'm going to explode any second now," I told her.
A few more sucks later and I exploded inside her mouth. As promised she swallowed up every last drop.
"That should put a few more inches on your breasts. Thank you, I really enjoyed that," I said.
"Just hope you got enough left to bop me now," she said smiling.
"Give me about a half hour and we'll find out. You'r sure now that you want to lose that cherry. Its hurts the first time you know." I said.
"I know it hurts the first time, thats why I wan't it to be with someone that doesn't mean anything to me. Anyway I need to lose it. Besides becoming twenty next month, I'm planning on seducing someone and I don't want to seduce this guy as a virgin. So yeah, I'm sure, I'll give you a half hour and then I want you to do me or else I'll tell everyone at the cab company that you're moonlighting as a male strpper" she said.
"Okay then you're on. I'll do you if thats what you really want. I just hope I can make it seem like more fun than going to your dentist or something. In a half hour I'll pull the car over and make you a woman.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Was I Dating An Alien?

I'm a fairly ordinary guy, but after two weeks of dating Triffy, things just didn't seem very ordinary anymore. I had taken a girl named Barbra to a drive in movie. Not sure if they still have drive in movies anymore today, but back in the 70's they still had a few drive in movies left in California along with the left over Chariots.
Barbra asked. “Would you get me some buttered pop corn and a Coke?”
With a smile, I said,”sure.”
I headed over to the pop corn stand and it was lust at first site. It seemed as if her eyes were sparkling. Her blouse and skirt were skin tight.
She asked."Are you from around here?" I've never noticed you before."
I laughed and said. "I'm from a far away planet they call New York."
She smiled radiantly and said. "I'm from a far away planet to, but I got stuck here for a while."
"Missed the ride back on the space ship." I joked.
"Something like that." She said smiling.
"I'm supposed to be in Europe, but the Navy stuck me out here on the left coast. They just don't know how to read a dream sheet." I smiled.
"What do you do with the Navy she asked."
"Im a communications specialist." I answered.
She smiled glowingly and said. "I'm into communications to."
I laughed and said. "That's what you do on your planet when you're not selling pop corn."
She smiled and said. "Something like that.
"Oh, could I have a buttered pop corn and a Coke.” I asked.
“Wouldn't you rather have something else?” She whispered seductively.
“Yes, I would, but this is for Barbra, the girl that's waiting for me to bring this back to the car.”
“Would Barbra miss you if you didn't come back?” She whispered almost hypnoticly.”
I answered.”I don't know, but I think she would wonder about what happened to the pop corn and Coke.”
“Okay.” She said, reluctantly handing me the pop corn and coke.
“Maybe another time.” I said.
“I'd like that. My name is Triffy. Here's my number. Call me when you're finished getting pop corn for Barbra.” She said.
“My name is Tim, maybe another time Triffy,” I said.
I brought the pop corn and coke back to Barbra. She snuggled up with me and asked. “Didn't you want anything?”
“Want anything what?” I asked.
“Didn't you want a snack? She said, seeming puzzled.
“Oh, I just didn't think of it.” I replied.
Smiling seductively, she said. “I'm willing to share.”
She then gazed into my eyes and started to kiss me, but I couldn't get Triffy out of my mind. It were as if she had cast a spell on me. Barbra was very pretty, and I really did like her, but I felt as if I were now wearing the wrong size shoe. I needed size Triffy, but I tried hard to fit into size Barbra.
After the movie I drove Barbra home. She asked me in, but I told her I had some work to do that just couldn't wait. I drove down Pacific Coast Highway and parked by one of the massive cliffs to think and reflect. The height of the cliffs, the wonderful splashing sound of the water always seemed to invigorate my thought process.
I debated with myself if I should call Triffy or not. I knew nothing about her except that she was very beautiful. She just wasn't the kind of girl you would expect to be selling pop corn. At least not with those looks. She intrigued me. At last, I decided to call her just out of curiousity.
I just had to know where she came from, what she was into and what the heck was she doing selling pop corn. But, I was really fooling myself. Deep down, I was really attracted to her. I didn't even want to admit to myself that I could be such a cad. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted her anyway.
So, I called. She told me a few things about herself and we made a date to go to the beach the next day. After seeing her in a bikini on the beach the next day my mind just went blank. Her body was pure Heaven. I didn't have any more questions to ask her. I was totaly under her spell. Barbra was just now a distant memory.
After the beach we went back to her place and she seemed to have candles everywhere. They seemed to have a nice smelling scent, but they were like no other candles I had sniffed before. I was going to ask her what all the candles were about, but when she changed into a very sexy nighty, I lost my train of thought as I watched her light the candles. She finished the last one and put her arms around me and then I just melted in her embrace.
I was turned on like I was never turned on before. Just when I thought okay that's enough of this now, she seemed to turn on my second and third gear. It were as if she were re-generating my battery. Just when I thought my energiser bunny was finished, she turned on my fourth and fifth gear. I didn't know what was happening. I asked myself why. But I couldn't find an answer.
But I suppose all good things must come to an end. After two weeks with her, I got orders to go to the South Land. I had never before been in the South before and it was a long flight from California. So, when I first got off the plane, I thought I might be experiencing some jet lag. Or maybe two weeks with her just plum wore me out.
I didn't know what it was, but I was feeling very dizzy. I wasn't accustomed to the swampy type air of the South Land, so I thought, maybe I just need a day or two to acclimate to the different climate. But I continued to get dizzy. At last, I went to sick bay and told everyone there that I keep getting dizzy. They couldn't find anything wrong with me from routines tests, so they said they had to make sure I wasn't crazy.
Being confident that I was totaly sane I told them to give me any test they wanted. So, they put some strange wires on my head and kept saying that's amazing.
“Whats so amazing?” I asked my very big busted Nurse.
Smiling seductively, she said.”Your brain scan. It keeps showing that you're having a sexual thought every forty seconds.”
“Only every forty seconds”, I quipped starring at her endowed breasts with surprise.”
Smiling ever more seduvtively she said. “You're a sex machine.The average male only has a sexual thought every four minutes.”
“So, I'm over sexed and now I've lost my mind?.” I asked
She answered. “No, just the opposite. If you were only having a sexual thought every five minutes you would be losing your mind. So having a sexual thought every forty seconds makes you super sane. The best reading we ever got from anyone was every three minutes. You're every forty seconds is out of this world.”
“Out of this world. That's what I was afraid of. So how do I turn myself off? I asked.
“What turned you on like this? That's what I'd like to know so I could bottle it.” She said.
Laughing now, I said. “Sorry, but I don't kiss and tell.”
Of course I could have come clean and told her that I kind of suspect that I recently spent two fun filled weeks with a dynamite woman that was most likely a space alien. But I was getting bored with all the tests. And anyway, she was quite a looker. And I had a feeling she wanted to take me for a test run to check out that every forty second quirk.
“So, what is wrong with me then?” I asked.
She took my hand and said. “We've got to get you away from this swamp air."
"How can we do that?" I asked.
"I have central air conditioning." She replied.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Her Special Place For Innocence

When you live in New York City, downtown represents, the up and comers, or the new money, as its called. Uptown represents the established and entrenched, the old money as its called.
Bob had always worked downtown, he loved the narrow and crowded streets of Wall Street. Loved to grab a kinish or a hot dog from a vendor as he rushed down the bustling streets, reading the latest financial news while speeding down the street.
A break from the hectic work day was a fresh ocean breeze at the downtown Sea Port. Boarding a boat there for dinner with the Calypso music playing was an enjoyable after work experience. You could throw off your tie and have a good drink with dinner and talk about everything and anything.
Wall Streeters are perhaps the most democratic of topic talkers in all of New York City, and yes, the noise, everyone is always talking loud and everyone is always opinionated, but it a nice sort of way, and the laughs are always rolling.
But uptown is a whole different world, its quite jogs in and around Central Park and reflective tranquilty at the Boat House. A thrill packed day for the uptowners is a romp through the European Art Galleries at the Met.
But for Bob, the all around downtown guy, life would take a strange turn. He left downtown, and took a job uptown. And he would meet his uptown girl in a very unusual way.
He was fairly new to his uptown job, and he was still trying to acclimate to his new surroundings. Bob had to see one of the woman he worked with about a project, he was working on. He headed toward where she was, and when he got into vision of her, just then, she put her leg up on a chair to tie her sneaker.
Bob knew she always switched to sneakers at a certain time of day to go jogging. She was really into fitness. But as she lifted her leg on to the chair to tie her sneaker, her skirt rode up her leg, revealing the most beautiful thigh.
It was toned and solid from all the jogging. He kept coming toward her, just about hypnotised by the vision of her ravaneous beauty, and then crash. He was so busy looking at Monica that he hadn't noticed that there was an obstruction on his path to her.
He tripped over the objects, that he would have normally noticed, and before he knew it, he was laying on the floor with a slight trickle of blood flowing from his chest and a small blood stain showing on his shirt. Monica ran over to help him and said, let me get something to stop that bleeding.
To his surprise, she pulled a first aid kit out of her office.

She said. “Don't move, you may have hurt your back.”

Then she unbottoned his shirt and applied gauze to stop the bleeding.

He said. “I think I'm okay, just a few scratches.”
Then Bob got up and said. “See I'm fine, but thanks“

Then she said. “Wait, let me put some disinfectant on that cut. This is going to sting.”

She rubed the disinfectant all over the cut, but rather then feeling a sting, all Bob could feel was her gentle caressing touch.
Bob knew that he should have been in pain, but he was so turned on by her, all he could think of was, wow, she's dynamite. The next day, he took Monica to lunch to repay her for her medicinal treatment, and they both really seemed to click.
At first Bob felt a natural and normal lust for such a beautiful and sexy woman that Monica was. But as he got to know her better, he felt an unusual comfort with her. He was more relaxed with her than any other woman he had ever known.
His feelings of lust were quickly being replaced by genuine feelings of affection. He felt something very different with her compared to other woman. He couldn't even quite understand it himself. But he knew she made him laugh and he truely enjoyed her company.
She was different than any downtown girl that Bob had ever known. Bob liked her a lot, but had thought that she was out of his reach. He thought he just didn't have the kind of sophistication that she would expect from a guy. But after that chance meeting Bob was now more determined than ever.
He knew he was up against it, but she was too wonderful to pass up. And Bob wasn't a quiter. When he made up his mind about something, he went for it. In College, Bob had always been at the top of his class. Things didn't always come easy for him, but he had an incredible determination. He pined for her and he decided that he would do his darndest to win her over.
Bob thought, well for her, I can make a few adjustments. Bob started to date her and went to a few places with her that he would never normaly go. Broadway plays, Opera's, Night Clubs, all places that never entered Bob's mind. He was an avid sports fan and pre Monica, it was hockey and basketball, but he went where she wanted because he just wanted to be with her, and now the place was secondary in his mind, and she was foremost in his mind.
Monica invited Bob out to the Hamptons for the weekend, not really his kind of neighborhood, but how could he refuse. For the downtown people, weekends were spent at the New Jersey shore, or Joisey, as they liked to pronounce it. Bob knew the Hamptons were a whole different world for him. At the Hamptons, he met her friends and family and he tried to be as uptownish as he could be, but this was the world of the movers and shakers, this was a world that he knew was much easier to be born into.
But he did his best to get along with everyone and the main thing was, he was there to be with her. They had dinner with her friends and family, and then took a walk on the beach together. The beach, the moonlight, everything was beautiful and quite romantic.
Monica took Bob to a place on the beach, that she said was special to her.

She said, “Since I were a child, this had always been my own special place and now I wanted to share it with you.“

They strolled along the beach, hand in hand, and then when they got to a part of the beach that was absolutely beautiful, she said to him, this is it, this is my special place.
The sun had just set and a full moon was rising. It was beautiful how the moon was reflecting off the water. It was very romantic. She gazed into his eyes and then moved her lips close to his and then started to kiss him. He thrusted his tongue deep inside her mouth and as he went deeper, he could feel her embrace keep tightening around him. Then she suddenly pulled her mouth away from his to speak.
She said. “I would like to do something that I haven't did since I was a little girl.”

He said, yes. “What is it?“.

She replied. “I would like to wade into the water and feel innocent again.”

She touched her hand with his, and said. “Come with me.”
Bob watched with surprise as she started to remove her clothes while folding them and carefuly placing them on the sand. Bob undressed and carefuly placed his clothes over hers to protect her clothes from the blowing sand.
As they walked naked, hand in hand into the freezing water, she screamed. “Oh, I feel innocent and free again.”

They then embraced, and even with the freezing waters swirling around them, Bob felt as if his body was on fire with the heat of passion.
He could feel her firm breasts pressing against his chest as her hands squeezed at his waist. His hands slid down the front of her body from her stomach and stopped to squeeze her solid thighs. She then started to rub her waist into his while allowing her hands to slide down past his waist. As her hands explored below his waist, he started to gently move his hands up her thighs and gently caressed below her waist.
They then started to walk back toward the sand, but they could wait no longer. Before they were completly out of the water, they were suddenly on the ground. While the water began to splash over them Bob found himself embraced in Monica's arms.
As Bob slid his hands down Monica's thighs, he could feel her bite hard into his neck. As a large wave started to crash over them, Bob picked up Monica in his arms and carried her back to the beach. As he layed her down in the sand, they kissed while he drove his toongue deep inside her mouth. It was cold but their combined body heat was sustaining them from the cold night air.
Monica then squeezed her arms tight around Bob's waist and screamed. “I love you“

Bob screamed back. “I love you to“

As Bob gently touched her breasts, Monica's fingers dug into Bob's back. As his hands moved down from her breasts to her waist, Monica then spread her thighs wide apart.
As she felt his hands wander down from her waist, she yelled. “I love you“

As Bob braced himself over her he said. “I love you to.”

As their passion climaxed Bob said. “Never in my life have I felt this wonderful.”

Monica replied. “Never did I think that life could be as wonderful as this.“
They stood and had one last kiss and embrace before getting dressed. Bob said. “I've never felt this way with anyone before, you're truely wonderful.”

Monica started to cry and said. “I've been waiting all my life for someone to say that to me. Oh, God, how I love you.”
Then Monica and Bob strolled back hand in hand.

Monica then turned to Bob and smiled, and said. “You know were going to be bored out of our mind now by their idle chit chat“

Bob squezzed Monica's hand, and said. “It doesn't matter“

Then Monica said. “I'm glad you came. And did I ever tell you how much I prefer downtown guys?”
Bob laughed and asked. “Did I ever tell you how much I prefer uptown girl?“

She was uptown and he was downtown, but that weekend it didn't matter. Bob thanked her for sharing her special place with him.

And then she asked. “Do you have a special place you wan't to show me?“.
Bob said. “Yeah, sure, but its a little bit out of your neighborhood. Monica said, oh where is it. Bob laughed and said, its on the Joisey Shore.”

Five Months In Hell

Books That Sizzle

No one ever wanted to talk about this. No one ever wanted to dare know the sacrifice that so few made for so many. Its been about 24 years now since it happened, and I think at last, its time to talk about it.

There is no more Soviet Union today. But at the time the Iranians took the hostages, the US and the Soviet Union could have become easily embroiled in a world war if the US did to Iran what Iran deserved to have done to it.

Until that point, the US Navy had been a fair weather Navy. We never had deployed US warships in that region during the extremly hot summer months. The Iranians were well aware of this, but they didn't figure that one lone US warship would have the nerve to face down the entire Iranian military all by itself.

We did our part, but in my view deciding not to invade Iran was a blunder on Washington's part. Of course, I can see the concern they most likely had about a reaction from the former Soviet Union, but I would have taken that risk if I were President, and I'm sure they were positive that Ronald Reagan would not hesitate to invade when he took over for Jimmy Carter. In fact, just a few hours after Reagan was sworn in on January 20th 1981 all of the hostages were released after being held captive for 444 days.

Unlike Reagan, I would have still launched an invasion of Iran even with the hostages being freed. It would have been unpopular, but it would have been the right thing to do and we wouldn't have to worry about those maniacs getting nuclear weapons today.

I suspect that Iran will be invaded soon after election day unless the government is toppled internaly before then. This will happen regardless of who wins the election. Radical governments can not be tolerated anymore. The world has changed after 911 and those that haven't yet noticed better wake up in a hurry.

When the Iranians first took the hostages, I had no idea what the media may have been reporting on TV. I was over there, sitting right off the coast of Iran through the whole thing. I doubt if the TV news talked about it, but five of my fellow shipmates became certified as insane during that time. Before I joined the Navy, I had worked on Wall Street, so most likely I had already been insane proof. In fact Jerry Seinfeld had been pouring me beer eight classes at a time at the local Brew'N Burger. So, how much more insane could things be anyway?

The pressure was enormous, and those poor souls just couldn't handle it. The main culprit was sleep deprivation. After going months and months with so little sleep some people just snaped. Sleep deprivation coupled with a blazing heat that we never before experienced was a hardship that I hope no one ever has to endure.

As fate would have it, we just happened to have the most advanced weapon of the time. In case it still may be classified, lets just say we could have easily sent the Ayatollah, a not so friendly gretting. The chance of war with Iran was especialy hard for me to conceive.

It didn't hate the Iranians, in fact I liked them. I ran across many Iranians that were being trained by the US Navy when the Shaw was still in power. The ones that I knew were very friendly and they cherised American values. They were mild manered and very friendly. It disturbed me to think what happened to their country. Its just my opinion of course, but I think the Iranians that I knew will someday take their country back from the tryants that hate.

I don't really think that anyone really ever knew the real story of what went on behind the scenes when the hostages were taken. But I think that now America deserves to hear the true story from someone that was there at the time.


It was plain and simple. When the Iranians took the Americans hostage, there was no ready made plan for such a contingency. Virtually all our planning revolved around how to win a war with the former Soviet Union.

I can even recall the CNO coming aboard my US Navy ship back in the 70's and stating that it would take about 28 minutes to destroy the entire Soviet Navy if war were to occur.

Knowing that both countries had nuclear missles, talk like that scared the hell out of me. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there would not be any world left to win if both countries launched all their missles.

With our entire focus on the former Soviet Union at the time, little military pip squeak countries like Iran were not even considered as far as being any kind of a threat to our national security. So, when the Iranians first took the hostages, we had no ready plan to react.

At the time the hostages were taken, our deployment was just about over. Everyone was exhausted and looking forward to going home. We had recently gone through three very bad typhons.

Even the last few Ports we were in were not exactly fun Ports. We had been to Deigo Garcia where the only two females on the entire island were the English Governor's wife and their pet duck.

Before that we had pulled into Somalia against the advice of the CIA warning us how dangerous it was there. Because it was an Islamic country, no drinking was allowed and they were having a war with their neighbor at the time.

But they had kicked the Russians out because the Russians, who had been giving weapons to both countries in the past sided with Somalia's neighbor in the dispute.

I suppose we may have been interested in taking over the Russian Navy base there. Obviously other people also had reasons to be there. I didn't know it at the time, but at one point in Somalia, I and my shipmates were on a bus that was parked accross the street from where Bin Laden and his wife were standing with their Camels.

Like I say, none of us knew who he was then, but the cold chill in his eyes and his wifes eyes sent chills up my spine even in the 130 degree heat.

The bus was there waiting several minutes for clearance to go to the Russian base, but I noted that neither Bin Laden nor his wife even so much as blinked the entire time. It were as if they were stone.

We didn't know what to expect in Somalia. The Russians had been there for a long time. We even went so far as to tell everyone that we would blow the ships horn for everyone to come back if anything went wrong.

The heat was unreal there. It was 130 degrees in the shade. The natives warned us not to swim in the water. They said that 19 of them had recently been devoured by sharks. But the water was our only escape from the heat.

The guys from the Midwest were really getting done in by the heat. Because there is no natural salt in any fruits or vegetables grown in the Midwest, they have almost no resistance to intense heat. After we left that fun Port than Mother Nature played havoc with us.

Numerous under water earth quakes had been occuring resulting in pop up islands that were not on our charts. This caused some very complicated navigational problems. To make matters worse, we were in waters that we weren't accustomed to being in.

Two countries had been jointly developing missle technology that they were testing in a remote part of the ocean. We did things to make our ship look like a fishing trawler so they didn't know we were there. The irony was that a fishing trawler would never be fishing in a spot like that anyway.

I'm sure both countries knew who we were, but we always had to make everything a game. We even had to sink all our trash deep down just in case they tried to identify who we were by the sort of trash we threw overboard.

We were really all sick and tired of playing 007, but just when we thought we were going home, we had to rush out to the Persian Gulf. The Iranians had taken the hostages and we were the only game in town.

We were completly cut off from our supply lines. Soon after, we completly ran out of cigarattes. My shipmates were breaking into the life boats to retrive stale cigarattes that were placed there about three years before.

When we ran out of chemicals to run the evaporators to de-salinate the salt water into fresh, we had to take showers on the flight deck whenever we found a rain squal. Then, the toilet paper went along with the candy and chips.

The entire crew was under a tremendous strain. Shipmates were starting to do strange things that they wouldn't do under normal circumstances. The Captain became quite upset when he noticed one of my shipmates sun bathing stark naked outside his State Room.

People were tired and they started making mistakes. I wrote constant comedy scripts and long love letters to my favorite sweetheart to keep my mind occupied. Just as I was finishing page 68 of a love letter, I was the only one to notice that a shipmate had fallen overboard. Everyone else had fallen sound asleep.

As my shipmate was falling overboard I was just ending my love letter with the words I've always ended it with everything you do seduces me.

At the time, I got quite a kick out of writing long love letters. I had realized that the post office in that country had been making copies of everything I wrote and passing it all around the country.

I was subtle of course, but I was making comical statements and little hints about how much better that counrty would be without its dictator. Soon after my 100th letter, there was a revolution that deposed the dictator and restored democracy. Of course I can't take credit for the revolution, but I enjoy thinking that I may have given the revolution a little push with my love letters. Anyway, it kept me sane for all those months, but then again, I may have already been crazy to begin with.

Anway we got my ship mate back thanks to that long love letter. I was the only one awake that day because I was determined to finish writing that letter. That day I saved a shipmate and soon after my vigilance perhaps may have even saved planet earth.

When a Russian sub came to close we almost fired. If we had fired that may have set off a series of events that could have destroyed planet earth.

Before joining the Navy I had a job where everything had to be exactly percise. So when everyone else yelled that the Russian sub was over the line, I knew they were wrong.

Yes, the Russian sub was for sure playing chicken and cutting it very close, but I was sure that they were still within the allowed bounds.

At last the Russian sub turned away. But if I had listened to calls to fire, then I fear, there would be no more planet earth today. No one was happier to see the Cold War end than I. When you experience first hand just what sort of devastation can occur by an error in judgement, it makes you realize that no one should have weapons like this any where. Its just too dangerous.

Soon after the earth was saved we ran completly out of fuel, and while anchored, I experienced first hand how the oil industry is destroying the echo system.

There was a major oil spill. It was so sad to see the very proud Albertros landing on the ship and asking for our help. Under normal circumstances an Albertros will never land on a ship and never make human contact. But humans caused the problem and only humans could remedy the problem as well.

It was heart breaking to see the proud birds all covered in oil. Oh, how I cursed our SUV's when I saw that sight of the poor oil soaked birds for weeks on end.

We did the best we could and cleaned off as many birds as we could, but they kept coming and coming. My only regret is that I didn't have a Cam Corder to document what happened.

We were stuck out there for five months until an entire Armada came to relief us. We were there alone for so long, but then the sea was black with US Warships.

The CNO came aboard and stated that we now had four times the fire power of the entire Pacific Fleet during the last World War sitting of the coast of Iran.

For sure, we weren't playing with these people, but our job was over and we just wanted to go home. We had payed a heavy price for safeguarding the hostages. Five shipmates had gone insane over that five months.

We had been at sea for so long that we got strange orders from Washington. They told us to all wear street clothes on board for three days just to get acclimated to a normal life again.

Then for the first time in history Jimmy Carter ordered that Heneiken beer be airlifted to us by helicopter so we could drink it on board. Unlike other Navies such as Canada and Australia, the US had never before allowed drinking on board.

So, this was a very unusual gesture for a US President to make. At last we hit a Port. We were the first War Ship ever to pull into a Club Med.

When I first walked on to the island I had to sit down for a minute to adjust my sea legs. I was so used to the rocking of the ship, I felt as if the island should be rocking.

While I sat there adjusting my sea legs back into land legs a beautiful woman walked over to my table and presented me with a vintage bottle of wine on behalf of her country.

I figured she most likely thought I was an Admiral or something, but she was very beautiful, so I played along. After we finished the bottle of vintage, wine she asked if I would join her in a Mid Night swim on the beach.

I told her I didn't bring a bathing suite.

She smiled, looking at me as if I were an exquisite chocolate and said. "Neither did I."

She then took my hand in hers and said. The Moon is beautiful tonight.

I said. "If I'm dreaming all this please don't wake me. Its been a while since I've been in heaven.

She asked. "Will you be my Angel tonight?"

I said. "Why not?"

Then she said."You will be in heaven tonight."

We had quite a party in her island hut. We both fell sound asleep after a while. When we woke we realized that we had slept right through a tropical storm. When we walked out of the hut we found that every hut around ours was totaly devestated. How our hut was spared is a mystery I have never figured out.


We made it home despite Jean Dixon making a prediction that we would never make it back. We defied all odds and accomplished something that may have given the world a second or even a third chance.

Had we not have been there, the hostages may have perished and we just might of decided to make Iran dissapear as a consequence. But the worst for all parties was avoided. Since that day my views on many things have changed. In fact I'm now turned on like mad if I'm going with a babe that's really into politics and deep thinking in general. Because now, I always ask why. But how much longer can we keep pushing our luck? I wonder.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

My Special Princess

Did you ever make a decision, and then wondered if it was right? Sometimes fate gives you unexpected surprises when you least expect it.

At the time, I was kind of down in the dumps. I had just called off a year long engagement and I just didn't have that usual bubble.

We were about to head home, and then, something happened, that would at least prove fantastic for me. There was, lets say, a military threat to Thailand at the time, and an American US Naval presence was warranted.

We rushed to Pattaya Beach at full speed, a resort town, for the "Super Rich", that normally would not be a Port O' Call for any warship. But, at the time, it was just another day for me. I just wasn't in the mood to celebrate.

I was thinking. "A year engaged to the same girl, I got so accustomed to her, but now I would have to start all over again."

No, I really didn't want to start that dating stuff again.

I thought. "I just want to hide away some where from the World for a while."

We steamed into Pattaya, and my friend Kevin asked. "What are your plans for Pattaya Beach?"

I said. "I don't know Kevin, I really haven't given it any thought."

Kevin then said. "I'm going to try and buy a stone for my wife. I heard that they have some good values there."

I laughed and said to Kevin. "Stones. Is that what you're going to do with the remains of the family fortune?"

Kevins family had almost of their money invested in what they thought was a very safe Utility Company, that latter became better known as "Three Mile Island".

He laughed, and said. "I think they would rather sink more money into "Three Mile Island", then to trust me with the rest of the family fortune. They know I would spend it all."

I said. "Okay Kevin, I will check out the stones with you, but lets not go anywhere where there are women, I'm just not in the mood."

Kevin said. "Thats easy for me, I've been avoiding women since I got married."

I said. "Well, you have the knack Kevin. You went to an girls College with your billionaire friend. Only two guys in that entire College. You must have developed a technique over all those years to ignore women when you wanted to. You got your journalism degree, so you must have been focused at least at times."

"I focused every once in a while." Kevin said laughing.

I said. "Yeah, thats what I have to do, get focused. I just wish I knew what to focus on."

Kevin said. "Okay, no women. But how bout some of that Thai beer?"

I said. "Allright. But I'm only having one. That stuff only comes in quart bottles."

So, the ship pulls into Pattaya, and I and Kevin think we are just going to check out some stones and have some Thai beer. But of course that story takes a very strange turn. We pick out a store, and Kevin doesn't like any of the stones.

The girl says. "Wait. I have more stones upstairs that I will bring down."

So while we are waiting, I and Kevin start talking about the current comedy routine that we were working on. Now, there is this girl behind us, that we can't see. She's looking at something else in the store. What we don't know, is that she can hear every word that were saying. Now, I and Kevin are just going on and on.

Now this girl is trying to be polite, so she's doubled up with pain trying not to laugh. Then I guess she got to the point where she could no longer stand. But, like I say, we don't know about any of this.

You have to understand that in this part of the Orient its not polite for people to laugh at other people. People are also somewhat guarded with their opinions and feelings for others. There is a certain protocol that all abide by. So, if we were of that culture, we could be offended by someone laughing at our conversation.

Now the girl returns from upstairs with the stones, and notices that this girl is laying on the floor gagging.

She yells. "Help."

We run over and it appears to me as if the girl is trying to talk, but she can't. Her face seems all flush and red, as if she's having a high blood pressure attack or something.

The girl from the store than yells to me and says. "Give her mouth to mouth."

I gave her mouth to mouth, and then she seemed to revive. Now she starts to talk.

She explains. "I am fine, I just had a laughing fit."

Kevin then says to her. "What were you laughing about?"

Then she explained. "I overheard heard your conversation and I was afraid that you would think that I was rude if I laughed. So, I tried to hold back from laughing. But the two of you just kept getting funnier and funnier. So finally, I fell to the floor doubled up with pain from trying not to laugh."

I looked at Kevin and said. "Wow, its not just sailors that find us funny."

Kevin said. "Gee. I thought all those guys that said they were laughing so much, that they got sick to their stomachs were just putting us on."

I said damn Kevin. "You could get people sea sick on land."

Now she starts laughing again, but she's not trying to hide it. She thanks me for saving her life, after I and Kevin, almost killed her with our comedy routine.

She says. "Come with me. I know where you can get the stones you want."

She ushers us into this waiting limo with a driver standing there to open the door for her.

She says to the driver. "They are my friends."

Then she tells him where to drive to.

So, I'm thinking. "Well she rented a limo for the day. But I wondered why the driver kept calling her Princess. But I thought maybe he calls all the pretty girls Princess."

We get to the store. Kevin finds a stone he likes. Then the girl quotes him a price. While he's thinking about the price, the girl were with whispers in the shopkeepers ear, and then the shopkeeper quotes Kevin, half that price.

Kevin says. "Its a deal."

We leave the shop and get back into the limo.

Kevin says. "Where are we going?"

She says. "You two made me laugh again, so I want to take you home for dinner."

The limo stops, and I'm thinking. "This is home."

Its an incredible Mansion with an enormous swimming pool, and servants seem to be everywhere.

We have a great dinner and a great conversation. The vibes are unreal. We have a few after dinner drinks and then Kevin dozes off on the chair.

She laughs, and asks. "Did I put your friend to sleep?"

I laughed and said. "No its married life. Ever since he got married, he just can't seem to stay awake past midnight."

She then asks. "How bout a dip in the pool?"

I smiled and said. "Sounds refreshing, but I didn't bring a bathing suit with me."

She smiled and said. "Neither did I."

We headed to the pool, and it was quiet and tranquil there. As she removed her top, I couldn't help but stare at very endowed breasts.

I said."You have nice seized breasts for a Thai girl."

She smiled and said. "That's because I'm not a Thai girl. Didn't you notice that I never bow?"

Laughing I said. "I'm not the most observant kind of guy."

Smiling she said. "You just notice nice seized breasts. Do you like what you see?"

As she slid out of her skirt I said. "Oh yeah, that's the way I like it.

She ran her hands down my chest and said."You're very muscular. Do they make everyone in America like you?"

I laughed and said. "I was the last one they made like this."

That night, there was a full Moon out, and it was quite romantic.

We swam around the pool for a while and then embraced. It felt wonderful as her breasts pressed against my chest. As my hands slid down her shapely thighs, I started to lust with arousal. I had only known her for a short while, but it didn't seem that way.

I thought to myself. "Is it all the booze I had thats giving me this dreamy feeling?"

As I felt her hands start to slide down my waste, I realized that she wanted to do moore than just smooch.

Then, I thought. "She's very wealthy. Could I just be a toy for her to amuse herself with for a night?"

I gazed into her eyes for an answer, but I could only feel her sweet lips.

And at last, I said to myself. "Stop being so analytical and enjoy the moment."

She said. "Its very dangerous here for you. The North Vietnamese have crossed the Cambodian border and are headed this way."

I touched her hand and said. "I know its dangerous. Thats why I'm here. We want to make sure they don't cross into Thailand. Dont worry I can be your hero baby."

As the night went into day, so to did the pain of my broken engagement dissipate. She was just what the doctor ordered. Our passion sizzled for the entire two weeks we were there. But the last night was so hard.

I had to tell her. "Our ship is leaving in the morning."

She said. "No don't leave me. You can have anything you want if you stay with me. Can't you see that I've fallen in love with you? I can think of nothing but you and I need you.

I was tempted, I was very tempted, she was beautiful, she was wealthy and she was brilliant.

But I had a duty, and I knew it would be wrong to stay. But oh, how I wanted to. To shirk all my responsibility, was just so tempting. To this day I wonder if I threw away a trump card that fate had dealt me. Were we meant to be, happily ever after, or were we just both an interlude, that we both needed at the time?

I went back to the ship that morning and just before we pulled out, there was a phone call for me. I asked. "Who is on the phone?"

I was told it was some girl claiming to be a Princess.

I said. "What? A Princess."

I'm thinking. "Why would a Princess want to talk to me?"

Then I thought. "Ah, someone's playing a joke on me. I picked up the phone and said, King Henry here."

And then I heard the voice say. "Why are you joking? I am very sad, and I called to say goodbye and to thank you for the most wonderful two weeks, I ever had in my life."

I said. "I'm sorry, I thought you were the one joking. They told me I had a call from a Princess."

She said. "Yes. Thats me. I'm a Princess."

I asked. "Are you telling me that I spent the last two weeks with a Princess?"

She said. "Yes. Who did you think I was?

I said. "But you said you weren't a Thai."

She said. "Thailand is not the only country where Princess's come from. If you change your mind, you know where I will be."

I laughed, and said to her. "Well if you ever come to America and you want to find me, check all the mental wards, I'm seriously thinking of having myself committed, just as soon as were stateside again."